Reclaiming Your Sexy

I’m a huge believer in owning your sexuality, your sexyness, whatever makes you feel good, etc. I think it’s healthy, it’s fun, and it’s great for your confidence. (So long as you’re safe, responsible, etc. etc.) But as a young adult, I always felt suuuuuuper awkward “flaunting” myself in any way that could ever be deemed “sexual” or “sexy”. I felt awkward for being open about it. I don’t know why I felt that way, I just.. did.

In my last relationship, I had a very very hard time feeling sexy and I blamed it on my chronic illness, weight gain. But since moving home, I’ve sort of reclaimed a piece of me I thought I lost. While still being sick. And still being 40 pounds heavier than what I’m used to. Which lead me to think – and I got lost in the black hole of my fucking mind once again. Bouncing around from one idea to another without completing any actual thought, just trying to figure out why I felt this why. Why all of a sudden do I feel so good about myself?

When you surround yourself with judgemental people – whether it’s obvious to you, or not – you close yourself off. You pick up on these slight little responses from people that make you feel, well, stupid.

So, when you do something that is so you, or you try something new, or  you try to connect to yourself in a sexual way, and you’re either rejected, made fun of, laughed at (the list of negative responses could go on) – you close yourself off.

Even if it’s something as small as an eye roll when you start belting your favorite song in the car – if it happens enough times, and in response to enough of the little things you do, you subconsciously close yourself the fuck off to avoid the negative response.

Enough times that you’re no longer the person you were or want to be.

It’s something I did a lot and never totally realized. I acknowledged these responses enough to be like, “okay, never do that again.” But I didn’t ever see it as something that was hurting my self esteem.

Never settle for someone that makes you feel silly or stupid for being you in your own skin, trying to connect to a more sexual side of yourself, or trying to evolve as a person. Because if this person is meant to be in your life, they will encourage you, and evolve with you. Not stifle you with responses that make you feel like maybe you’re wrong for what you’re doing.

Whether you’re fresh out of a messy divorce, just out of a relationship, or even if you’re just finally coming into your own as a person, know that you can always revert back to a person you used to be. You can always evolve into someone new. That’s the beauty of it all, really. You can do whatever you want, you can be whatever you want, you can feel however you want.

Reclaim who you are or who you want to be, reclaim your sexuality- own it, and enjoy it.

If that means sleeping with someone new or exploring your sexual freedom, then do it.

If that means showing the online world your butt on a good day, do it.

If that means doing or sharing something sexy or talking about things you wouldn’t normally talk about because it’s “inappropriate” fucking do it. 

Because you can. Because you want to. Because.. why not? 

You’re not hurting anyone by serving and loving yourself in this capacity- never ever forget that.


xo, k


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  • NYC: tolerant of your beliefs, judgmental of your shoes.
  • Thanking the heavens for @otbtshoes and their chunky cute wedges. 😜 I didn’t think I could love them more and then they unveiled their “Layover” wedges! I’m so stoked to wear these like.. all spring and summer. 👏🏼
  • Oh HAPPY DAY. It’s been a great week. 🤗🙌🏼
  • Shaking up my routine with Herbal Essences Blue Ginger & Micellar Water Shampoo and Ginger Conditioner. I’ve been way into bath/skin/hair care recently. Spending all my $$ on loofas and soaps. @herbalessences came in for the save with this one 😂 but also these smell great and make my hair feel amazeballs. 
#sponsored #herbalessences @herbalessences
  • I didn’t have a head cold in this picture. It was a much happier time. 
Happy Sunday, friends. 🤧
  • Super stoked for the weather to not be garbage. 🌊
  • Quote of the day: “Be alone. Eat alone. Take yourself on dates. Sleep alone. In the midst of this, you will learn about yourself. You will grow. You will figure out what inspires you. You will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you meet the person that makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you will be sure of yourself.”
  • Been sleeping all day in anticipation for super bowl food
  • Today I’m grateful for the things about me that I always considered to be my “bad” qualities. 
I think “bad” qualities are something we all possess, but I also think they’re useful in the sense that they do a job to weed the people out of our lives that aren’t beneficial to our end game- whatever that may be. 
So I’m listing my “bad” qualities this morning and I’m going to repurpose them. What good have they brought me? 
Some of the good I’ve come up with include: clarity, new surroundings, a chance to do what i need for myself, a new appreciation for life, love for myself that I didn’t realize I had, and so many more. 
If you’re feeling especially down about yourself, I challenge you to make a list of the things you don’t love and repurpose them. Think about what kind of good came out of your bad qualities and embrace that. 
I fully believe we are who we are for a reason and we should probably stop trying to be what we think people want us to be, and we should just.. be. Good, bad, and everything in between. You’ll be surprised who and what you attract.
  • is mayonnaise an instrument
ive been doing great with these captions, huh? 
i had 2 job interviews today & I’m going to reward myself with fried pickles. 🍽
  • Somethin about being sweet and wearing a crown. idk. I’m an asshole.
  • Life can get confusing. 
Intentions can get lost. 
Goals can change. 
It’s just what happens. But I’m going to try my damndest to channel the inner freebird inside me and learn to roll with these changes instead of trying to control them. 
We’re not in control of what happens. We’re only in control of our reactions and the choices we make.