New year, New Realizations.

I tweeted the other night that I had nothing sentimental to say about last year or this new one. But last night, I couldn’t sleep (shocker) and I kept thinking about the last year and life in general.

Life is weird, you guys- I told you that was my new motto. LOL. Things happen that you’d never think, people come into your life and then leave when you least expect it, and for so many different reasons. The universe has its way of showing you things and putting you through things to teach you and shape you into the person you’re meant to be in the future. And if you keep that mindset about every good or bad thing that happens in your life, then you’re able to take advantage and grow from whatever life throws at you. Everything is truly a learning experience, and should be embraced!
Because truthfully, there is good and bad in every situation. There are going to be ups and down, highs and lows, pros and cons, for every. situation. you. find. yourself. in. With relationships, career paths, family, friends, jobs, school, travel,  like, literally everything. 
And one thing I’ve learned is that having a good relationship with yourself makes it so much easier to see the good in life. When you have self-love, confidence, and badassery on your side, you become resilient and more open to seeing the good. You want to take advantage. You use the bad to literally launch yourself into something good.

Since my anxiety started and my health kind of declined 2 years ago, I started putting work into myself. That’s when I started this blog, when I moved out, and had to learn to help myself. I didn’t really see or feel the work I had put into myself until the end of 2017 when my 5 year relationship ended. I think the universe looked at me and was like, “this bitch did all this work and ain’t usin’ a damn OUNCE OF IT. THROW HER SOME SHIT SHE AIN’T EXPECTIN'” Life changes, people change, dynamics change. And you’re tested. Your mental health is tested, your strength is tested. And I honestly surprised myself when I realized how okay I really was.  Every day I look at myself, and I’m like, “Shit, girl. You got this.” And I owe that, 100%, to the work I put into the relationship I  built with myself. I never realized the importance until my world was turned upside down, and I was still happy. I was still loved. I was still taken care of. I was still together. Because I had me. 

I can’t express enough, how important it is to love yourself. And I don’t mean physically. I still struggle with body image, self esteem, etc. and that’s okay. But you know what makes that better? Loving who I am as a person. Knowing my worth. Acknowledging the value and substance I bring to the table in any situation.

And I’m so… fucking stoked – for this year. I have never, in my entire fucking life, been so damn excited for the shit that’s coming. I’m literally choking back tears. And it sounds silly, I know it does. But when I was 18, I was in such a weird place in life. Nothing was clear to me, I was desperate for validation, I needed someone to love me. And I think that’s how I fell into my last relationship to begin with. Now that I’m back to being with me, like I was at 18, but in such a different place, I am so excited. For the things that I’ll do, the people I’ll meet, the goals I’ll accomplish. I’ve never felt so excited and ready for life to happen.

The moral of this story:
Work on the relationship you have with yourself. When you know you have you, everything else in life is icing on the bomb-ass cake you made your damn self.
Be excited about creating a happy life. Be excited about the opportunity in everything that happens.
Be so full of light that nothing outside of you can touch you.

xo, K

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