I’m having the kind of day that is full of things that need to get done, but nothing can get finished.
I need to pay this bill – I get locked out of my online account. I need to register for classes, no one at the school will answer my phone calls. I need to unpack my house, but I’m not sure if I’ll have to clean it again in a couple weeks. I need to organize my work folders but my classroom office is upside down and my home office is housing the entire contents of our actual home. I want to leave my bedroom, but being in the living room literally causes me to go into a sneeze-filled allergy attack. I need to get out of the house, but I hate where we live and there’s literally nowhere for me to go.
So here I am. Stuck in bed with a mile-long to-do list and no way to get any of it done.
I start feeling short of breath, like I can’t fully breath. My head starts aching. I want to sleep, but I can’t because there’s too much going on in my brain to slip into sleep.
So.. what do you do?
For me – I’m here writing about it. Because explaining these kinds of feelings with words makes me feel like the words and anxiety are leaving my soul and going into the universe. Like I’m literally just.. emptying my guts onto this platform and this is where I’ll leave it.
But if you don’t find peace in writing or any other creative kind of outlet, how do you ensure you’re taking care of yourself mentally when you find yourself in sort of a depressive, end-of-you-wits kind of state?
My first tip would be to literally force yourself out of the negative thinking. Obviously easier said than done. It’s so easy to say my town sucks and I have nowhere to go when I feel like I need to leave because it’s in part, true. But if I wanted to be more optimistic about the situation, I could be. So push yourself out of the negativity and find somewhere to go. Find something positive. I may take myself to Starbucks or treat myself somewhere because I am an emotional eater/shopper. I should get a handle on that, actually. It’s starting to sound like an addiction. PROBLEM FOR ANOTHER TIME- I CAN’T DO IT TODAY.
My second tip would be to take a shower. Sometimes when we get into these depressive states, it’s easy to not get out of bed. Not take a shower. Not dress ourselves in ways that make us feel good. Because we just stop caring. Go clean up, put on a nice outfit, do your makeup. Whatever makes you feel good, do it.
My third tip is to breath. If you deal with any sort of anxiety, you know how easy it is to slip into panic mode without any real time to get a grasp on what’s going on. Just breath. One of my favorite quotes I like to tell myself is that “life is just not that hard” because, sure, things get difficult, but in its simplest form, it’s just not. that. hard. To live. Just be. Need to walk away? Do it. Don’t stress over things you cannot control. It’s pointless and only causes harm.
So I’m going to go put on something cute, go buy myself lunch, get a GOOD drink from Starbucks (not one of those sugar-free ones either, cringe at me if you want.) and maybe look at what Belk has on sale. Maybe I’ll even do some yoga when I get home. Because that shit makes me feel good. And there’s no sense in swimming in all of the things I can’t do today.