Dealing With Negative Self-Image in the Summer

If you experience any form of negative self-image, the warmer months that warrant less clothing can seem.. daunting. I have always dreaded the summertime because of this and I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve found myself feeling like less, feeling insecure, or feeling embarrassed because of it.

This week we’re staying at the beach, spending a lot of time in our swimwear, short shorts, dresses with no sleeves, etc., and there are plenty of opportunities to feel insecure. 

The first day we were here, I spread out my towel and took my position in the sun when I noticed an impeccably tanned, thin girl setting up right next to us. She had long hair that I’d love to have, wearing a cute ass bathing suit that I’d love to be able to pull off, and she was adorable.
My initial feeling was insecurity, and wondering why she couldn’t go somewhere else. My secondary feeling was embarrassment; like if I was seen by her, I’d be judged, looked at weird, or talked about. Then I took my towel and covered myself with it.

While it took away the fear of anyone seeing my flaws, I then started feeling insecure that I even felt the need to cover myself.

I’m always preaching self-love in the form of acceptance; accepting what we are over forcing ourselves to love the things we don’t. But I seem to struggle with taking my own advice. Like I know how I should think and feel but actually thinking and feeling it is a totally separate thing. 

This week I’m challenging myself to accept me for who I am and what I look like. Do I love it? Maybe not. But I am and always will be a work in progress; emotionally, spiritually, and physically. That’s okay. It’s me and it’s okay to accept that. I shouldn’t be embarrassed of myself. No one ever should.

Life is about working hard, making memories, and loving the people around us (including ourselves)
We should be having a good time and enjoying ourselves. We should stop being so obsessed with what we look like. In most cases, we’re the only ones that care. Honestly, we’re the only ones that even notice.

I hope that if you find yourself relating to this post at all, you open yourself up to the world, throw off your towel, and OWN IT. We are all different and no body shape, size, or color is better than another. Our differences are so beautiful and worthy of sporting and showcasing.

So stop worrying & have fun.
YOU DESERVE FUN, DAMMIT.

Xo, K

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16 comments

  1. Ugh, I literally cried reading this – because I can relate. Moreso, because I am so bitter about once being that “tan skinny girl” in my teenage years, and I NEVER appreciated it! Now, I feel the exact way as you sometimes, like “why can’t those hot girls park their thin butts somewhere else on the beach so I can enjoy my sandwich?” But, I’ve realized over the last few years, that I noticed my body back then never made me feel ‘womanly’ – now… I feel like an empowered woman to have curves, and extra love in some places. Girl, you’re beautiful, inside and out! 🙂

    1. Oh my gosh!! I didn’t want to make you cry!! I was the same way too – looking back I can’t believe I took it for granted. So I’m trying to love what I am now, so later down the line, I’m not looking back AGAIN, wondering how I took it for granted. LOL. But yes!! Own those curves, girl! We should all feel empowered and beautiful in our skin no matter what we look like, or what phase of life we are in. Thanks so much for your sweet words! xo

  2. Amen and amen. I think most women are very self-conscious in this area my new friend. And being a teacher, similar to myself, doesn’t keep us from experiencing the ‘human condition’…of being human 😉 Ah if only we could always observe ourselves from the inside out. I am currently working on loving my body as a gift that is given to me for a short time to live this amazing life! Respect it, honor it, love it and treat it well. Big love to you! xo~D http://www.beyouandthrive.com/thriveblog

    1. being a human.. a great but also crazy thing, right? I often wish I could see myself the way others do, or like you said, observe myself from the inside out!! You’re so right though – our bodies are here to carry our beings through life. They definitely deserve respect and love. Thanks for leaving some love!! xo

  3. Oh I fall into this trap regularly. Especially with someone who feels the need to compete with everyone else. It’s mad me unhappy enough that it negatively affects other aspects of my life. I’m working towards getting over this. Keep preaching love, folks like me need to hear it.

    1. I’m the worst about that, so I totally feel you. I need to constantly check myself because the negative self talk can get so bad if I don’t! Competition is so… unnecessary. Just BE! Thanks for commenting, Sami! xo

  4. Oh man, I’m so glad I’m not the only one struggling! I’ve been through much more self-conscious and dark times with my body image in my life–interestingly, when I was thinner, and should have appreciated it more!–but I’ve been noticing my metabolism slowing down a little now that I’m officially in my late 20s, and I’ve been being really hard on myself about it. But I try to remind myself that 1. Just because my arms jiggle a little bit doesn’t give me the right to hate my arms. They do everything that arms are supposed to do beautifully. Some people don’t have that luxury. and 2. If I found out that the women that I admire were letting self-consciousness over something so silly as a slight arm jiggle hold them back from changing the world and reaching their potential, I would be FURIOUS. Why in the world should I not give myself the same courtesy?! So remember that <3

    1. Oh my gosh, yes! When I was the thinnest I’ve ever been, I was the most depressed. Crazy. But exactly! Our bodies are amazing vessels that allow us to do SO much. We need to love them! and you are SO right, Robin! We all deserve the same courtesy we give everyone else. Loveeeddd your comment so so much! xoxo

    1. The one thing that has brought me the most peace about this (because i totally relate to you) is that we may never be “where we want”.
      And the thing about that is, we’re constantly changing and evolving and growing. How are we supposed to keep up? We should start by accepting and loving what we have in this moment and just always strive to make positive choices in our day-to-day lives. You are beautiful, by the way! I hope you find some solace in that, as I have. Sending much love!! xoxo

  5. Oh I so relate to this. I actually AM quite skinny and I’m still self conscious. I think it just goes to show that you never know what someone may be battling internally. I am still insecure about walking around in a bathing suit even though some people may look at me and think I must be confident because I am thin, but that is simply not the case. Thank you for this post. I needed to hear it! I haven’t been out in a bathing suit this year at all yet because I’ve been too self conscious even though I want to go swimming so bad!

    1. girl, YES. One thing I can’t stand is opening up about this kind of thing and people saying, “oh shut up, you’re fine.” Like- excuse MEEEE. You really never know! And I’ve realized that sometimes inner peace and acceptance of our outward appearance doesn’t come with weight loss or an actual physical change. It comes with a change in our MENTAL health. But it breaks my heart you’re holding back because you’re self conscious!! I know for a fact that no one is nit-picking your appearance the way you are. Go put on a cute ass swimsuit and enjoy your summer, Amanda. The feeling of jumping into cool water when its hot as hell outside is literally so euphoric there aren’t words for it. DON’T MISS OUT ON THAT FEELING, AMANDA. IT’S NOT WORTH IT. Sending my love 🙂

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