An Important Factor in Understanding Love

From the point of a 23 years old in a 3+ year long relationship, I can’t say I’m an expert.

It feels like a long time, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s nothing. We’re babies. I have so much to learn about love and respect and making a relationship work. Not that mine isn’t working, I just think it could be improved with maturity and understanding, like most things in life.

If I’ve learned one thing in this relationship, it’s that Kyle and I give and receive love differently.

We have a lot in common, sure, but we’re two different people, raised two different ways, and we have different sets of values.

I think a lot of times, people expect to receive love the way that they give it because that’s all they know of love. All they know is what their picture of it looks like; what they do  when they love someone. But that’s not how this works. Everyone has different ideas of love. I can’t expect Kyle to love me the way I love him, because we grew up seeing love differently. So, we give love differently. If we can understand that about our partners, understand that both parties see, know, and give love in different ways, then I think things get a lot easier.

Kyle shows me love by putting my pajamas in the dryer while I’m taking a shower so they’re warm for me when I get out. He meets me in the rain with my rain jacket when he knows I forgot it at home. He brings me ice water when I’m upset because he knows it’s my cure all. He tells me he loves me a million times a day (literally), and asks for way too many kisses than what I’m usually willing to give without rolling my eyes. He’s very open about his love for me. He’s vocal. He wants to constantly show me how much he loves me. I’m different. I have different means of expressing my feelings. I show my love by writing stuff like this on my blog, making him breakfast, bringing him medicine when he leaves it at home, and cooking for him and the guys at work. But I don’t feel the need to tell him a million times that I love him and I don’t feel the need to hold his hand everywhere we go. Even though he loves those things, and I love more “under the radar” expressions of love, we accept and embrace our own “ways” of loving each other.

We give and receive love differently and we know it. I think we’ve both accepted that of each other and that’s why we are able to work so well together!

8 comments

  1. Hey, just headed over here from instagram!
    What you are saying is completely true and you two are lucky that you understand and respect each other so well. Have you read the 5 Love Languages by Chapman? He is a psychologist who explains the concept of giving and receiving love in different ways.
    Love your blog and instagram!

    1. Hey, welcome!! xox I haven’t read it, but I have heard of it!! I’ll definitely look into buying it now that you say that though! I’ve been thinking about it for a while but keep putting it off!! Thank you so much!

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