- It’s never as bad as you think. It’s not. We are so hard on ourselves for the way that we look, and we spend so much time and negative energy trying to “fix it” when there’s nothing there to fix in that moment. Learn and remember that it’s never as bad as you think it is. You don’t look as bad as you think you do. Whatever you said probably wasn’t as bad as you think it was. Start taking other people’s opinions of your appearance and overall personality over your own and you’ll start to see how beautiful/handsome and amazing you really are. You will always be more than you think you are.
- Start seeing yourself the way others see you. This goes with my first point – we are our biggest critics in the world. No one is tearing you apart and criticising you quite as hard as you are. We’re our worst enemies when it comes to things like this, and we take it because, well, it’s us. But we’re bullying ourselves. That’s what this is-bullying. Why is it more acceptable when it comes from ourselves? It shouldn’t be. We need to start fighting that voice that brings the negativity and start being intentional with positivity. Bring the peace! Say nice things to yourself. When you do this religiously, it turns into a habit and eventually, you’re spending less time in the mirror and more time living your life! Less time with tears welling up in your eyes and more time feeling empowered! See yourself the way others do; lovely, beautiful, and sun-shiny.
- You CAN do WHATEVER you want, you know. I spent a lot of time thinking “I can’t” when I should’ve been more confident and sure of myself. Regardless of your abilities, wisdom, age, knowledge, or personality – as a human being, you are capable of so much! So much power, influence, and ability. Humans are so … huge! We can do so much! Acknowledge that! You CAN do whatever you want. So do it! Take that trip. Audition for a show. Try out for a sports team. Run for class office. If for nothing other than to just say you did it. Do it just because you can! You can do anything!
- Learn to dress for your body/don’t be afraid of the size! Don’t be so obsessed with the trends. Sure, there are certain things that are in style, cute ,and so tempting – high waisted shorts, skinny jeans, bandeaus, etc. But some of these clothing items only look good on certain body types; that’s just how it is and how it always has been. But regardless of what’s “in style” there are always cute clothing options for every shape and size! Explore those! Try on something you wouldn’t normally look at – you could surprise yourself. And once you find what fits your personal style and body type, you’ll be amazed at how great you start feeling about yourself! I always feel on top of the world when I feel like I look cute in whatever I’m wearing, but I had to take myself away from what was “trendy” and find what fit my curves best. When I did that, I felt good about myself. And don’t be afraid to go up a size! No one knows that your shorts are a size 14, and frankly, no one cares. You’re the only one worried about the size of your clothing! If it looks good and fits you well, then the size shouldn’t matter! Who cares if you have to go up a size? As we grow, our bodies change. Especially for females; through puberty and babies, our bodies change so much! And if you deal with illness, you deal with body changes too! Just go with the flow and stick to what feels good and wears well – you won’t go wrong!
- Know your worth. Know that you are deserving of good treatment and a fair shot in life. Value yourself. Put value on who you are as a person. Know that you’re good and on this Earth for a reason. When you begin to acknowledge that you’re worth goodness and happiness, you fight for yourself. You shed people and things that don’t bring you happiness. You stop letting people walk over you. You feel capable of taking control and being in charge of your life! Know your worth, and feel empowered. You’ll be amazed at how life will change when you fill yourself with assurance and know that you are worthy of the things that you want and deserve.
- Give yourself the credit you deserve! We often find that we are not giving ourselves enough credit. I’m guilty of this being that I’m sick – I try to ignore it and do things I probably shouldn’t, or I think I should be doing more so I’m not seen as “taking it easy” because of my illness. When in reality, I’m doing enough and I don’t need to feel bad about anything. I’m doing what I can given my circumstances and we all need to feel this way. We need to start feeling okay with what we do, the work we produce (as long as we are still working to the best of our abilities!), and we need to stop feeling bad when we have to cancel plans, change our minds, or speak with honesty. I think this comes with confidence as well as being part of confidence building because without some confidence, it’s hard to recognize that we are doing enough, and that we are doing our best , but continuing with that attitude is what will keep you in that mindset permanently, which is what we all need! If you’re a hard worker, recognize that. If you do your best, that’s all that matters. Give yourself that credit, that pat on the back. We all deserve a little recognition from ourselves regardless of what we receive from others.
Building your confidence is important. Forming a healthy relationship with yourself is important. It allows you to walk into a room and know you got it. That you can do it. That you have it. “It” being a relative term, of course. We need to stop apologizing for our opinions, how we feel, and who we are, if that’s just who we are. Don’t ever apologize for being yourself. Don’t ever change for someone else. Being yourself is an amazing, underrated thing. And it comes with confidence. So start there.